


heartbeats

by sacklersgirlfriend



Category: Girls (TV)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-28
Updated: 2020-12-28
Packaged: 2021-03-11 04:08:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,881
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28389060
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sacklersgirlfriend/pseuds/sacklersgirlfriend
Summary: after accidentally seeing a text from an old flame on adams phone, confrontation is the last thing you need right now.
Relationships: Adam Sackler & You, Adam Sackler/Reader
Kudos: 16





	heartbeats

you didn’t mean to. you really, really didn’t mean to. it just happened. it was there. and you were curious. and it happened. 

you meant to only be checking his calendar. you just wanted to see his rehearsal schedule. that’s all. but the unopened text in his notifications made your stomach flip. you knew you shouldn’t, you were never that person. never the one to snoop or be jealous. especially after your last disaster of a relationship. after the scumbag was cheating on you for months. after you knew for 3 weeks but didn’t want to say anything. 

this couldn’t be a replay of it. an imitation of the event that made you lose hope, trust, and yourself for months. especially not with sackler. not with the uniquely sweet and passionate boy whom you’ve been with for an incredible 8 months. the boy who made you feel loved, who put you back together without even knowing what happened to you. he was the best thing to ever happen to you. and you to him. he loved you, he truly did. 

but why did pressing on the text notification lead you to a message from an unsaved number? adam hated texting. only texted you and sometimes his sister. so it was odd to see that there were a couple of back and forth replies between this mystery person. 

“i’m back in town xx” 

“who is this?”

“don’t you miss me? xx”

“jessa?”

“meet me at the cafe by hannah’s at 3 today xx” 

nothing else. no reply from adam. you felt like you could puke. it was 8 am and you were in your soft, shared bed and you were gonna fucking vomit on the sheets. 

adam was in the shower, rushing so he wouldn’t be late to 9 am rehearsals. maybe rushing so you would still be asleep, unaware, ignorant. so that he could slip out and prepare for 3. 

your eyes began to tear up involuntarily. you put his phone back on his side of the bed and turned around, not wanting to give any sign that you were awake. 

as the sound of the faucet turning off echoed throughout the apartment, you began to control your breathing. you didn’t want your quiet, crying gasps to be heard. 

you knew who jessa was. and you knew who hannah was. and you knew everything that happened between them all. 

it was one of your biggest personal issues at the beginning of your relationship with him, dealing with it. you trusted him, you really did, but knowing that there was history of him dating friends you couldn’t help but wonder if he thought your friends were prettier. if he thought you were disposable. 

of course, he assured you that you weren’t. that he loved you and truly had never felt this way with anybody. that he never felt this healthy and safe in a relationship. he told you that this love was foreign to him; self-destructing love was all he knew. but you made him feel safe. and he did everything he could to not be the person he used to be. 

but, looks like old habits have emerged. maybe he’s sick of you. maybe you’re not as interesting or quirky as his past partners. 

as more and more ill thoughts came to your head, he emerged from the bathroom, “hey doll- oh.” he cut himself off quickly, not wanting to wake you. you heard the light shuffles of his feet going around the apartment, grabbing all his things for the day. 

then, a kiss to the back of your head before more steps and the apartment door was closed and locked. 

you were alone now, and freely let the tears come. 

——

the tears never left for 10 hours. every time you felt better, more seemed to emerge. you dragged your feet around the apartment, making yourself sad meals, staring at your dreary reflection. 

by 6:30, you were back in bed, forcing yourself to sleep to stop crying and to ease away your headache. 

after 3 hours of sleeping, you felt a pair of arms around you and a heavy weight on your chest. 

it was adam, cuddling against you. 

“hi doll, you okay?” he whispered, looking up at you with puppy dog eyes. he felt a little guilty waking you up, but he thought you’d been sleeping all day. you were in the same spot he left you in this morning, and you were still sleeping. 

you looked down at him, chills erupting over your body as his large hands rubbed at your waist. “just tired” you mumbled, turning away from him, causing his grasp on you to falter. 

he scooted up the bed, kissing your neck and rubbing your side again. “need anything? is it your period? i thought you had it at the end of the month?” he questioned. 

his natural sweetness made your head spin and throat tighten up. you couldn’t cry again. 

“have you been crying baby?” he asked, voice low and gentle as to not scare you away. he noticed the redness around your nose and the puffiness around your eyes. when you didn’t answer, he continued to try to soothe you, rubbing at your skin and kissing your neck and hair. 

his heart was beating, he hated seeing you cry. he hated knowing that he was gone all day, leaving you to deal with whatever it was by yourself. 

he was oblivious, he didn’t know you’d seen the text. he even forgot about it himself. 

you took a deep breath before going to lay on your back so you could properly face him. he settled on his elbow, looking down at your puffy face. his heart ached. 

“how was your day today?” you asked. he was definitely caught off guard, eyes widening and brow furrowing at your question. 

he was worried. you usually always talked to him, always told him what was wrong so he could do everything he could to fix it. he felt like his heart was beating in his ears, not liking this state of you. 

but no, it wasn’t his heart. it was yours. yours was beating so loud. his brow furrowed even more as you looked up at him with an unreadable face. but your eyes, they had hints of panic in them. 

he lowered his ear to your chest, listening to the rapid thump of your heart. 

“what’s wrong kid? talk to me. are you nervous?” he questioned, looking into your widening eyes again. 

now, they slowly filled with tears. and his stomach turned. he immediately went to wipe them away, but you turned your head and sat up. 

“how’d it go with jessa?” you spat, chest heaving with nerves. a sob left your mouth before you could hide it.

he was truly panicking now. he sat up as well, moving to sit in front of you and look into your eyes. 

“did you see the texts? fucking hell. fucking idiot” he cursed, looking down at his lap as he pulled on his hair. “y/n listen to me, please. she texted me out of nowhere. i was going to handle it and tell you how it went after. i swear to fucking god that i didn’t even see her. i didn’t want to! i called her on my way to work and told her to fuck off and leave me and you the fuck alone! then fucking hannah texted me earlier saying that jessa ran to her crying then bought a one way ticket to fucking greece or something. doll, i’d never do that to you. i love you. so fucking much. i’d die without you” he pleaded, tearing up himself. his lip wobbled and chest heaved as yours did the same. you continued crying, full of relief but still a bit of pain. you wholeheartedly believed and trusted him. you just got ahead of yourself. your thought spiraled before you could be reasonable. 

he quickly pulled you into his lap, cradling your body against his as he held you oh so close. he kissed your head as he tried to soothe you to stop crying. he put his hand around the side of your neck and moved your head to face his, to kiss you with both of your salty tears wetting your lips. 

“cmon kid, stop crying, please. i won’t be able to stop either if you don’t.” he cooed. his stomach twisted as he felt your pulse under his fingers. your heart was still beating quickly. “why are you panicking doll? take some breaths for me.” 

after a few breaths, you were calmer, but shaking in his arms. “i didn’t want to think you were cheating on me” you whispered. “i was cheated on before and i cant go through that again”

his heart broke. he knew you had rough past relationships but he didn’t know you were cheated on. he didn’t want to imagine the pain you were put through. “hey, look at me. please” he pleaded until you looked up at his hazel eyes. his face was completely serious, like he needed to get this through to you. needed you to know everything he held for you in his heart even if he wasn’t so good with words. “i don’t want anybody else. i never will. only you. i love you so fucking much i could scream. and the dipshit who did that to you is the dumbest skank alive. ill fucking kill him when i get the chance. you didn’t deserve to go through that and i’ll make sure you never feel pain again. kid, i don’t know what fucking being controls the earth but every day i wake up and i thank whoever the fuck it is for giving me you. i want you forever and i hope you want me forever because you’re stuck with me. everyday of my life has led up to every day that i get to spend with you. you are my fucking life, doll.” he was nearly out of breath at the end, lip quivering again as he tried to spill his heart for you. 

you sat up and wrapped your arms around his neck, hugging him tightly as he pressed you against him. after a few moments, he pulled away and stared at you. you both laughed a bit at the sight of each other. pouty lips, wet eyes, small smiles. he kissed you once, twice, three times on the lips before kissing all over your face. he needed to hear you laugh. to really laugh. needed you to forget about the pain you felt all day.  
the loud plopping sound of his lips across your face and the teasing,tickling fingers at your sides caused you to erupt in laughter. he smiled widely now, loving to see your big smile. 

he quickly got up off the bed with you still wrapped around him, walking towards the kitchen. “cmon kid, let’s eat something, i missed you all day n don’t wanna eat alone” his baritone voice echoed in your ear as his chest vibrated against yours. as he made two bowls of cereal, he held you close to him, kissing you whenever he had the chance and making you feel oh so loved.

**Author's Note:**

> hope u liked it (-:


End file.
